Thoughts on work

[muchabstracted]

There's a theme that you run into, reading books or articles about therapy. You inevitably come upon moments in which the therapist describes having had the following realization and conversation:

Therapist: Oh. Huh. I've been really irritating and unhelpful, haven't I?
Client: I like you anyway. You try.
Therapist: *facepalm*
(only, you know, motionless, 'cause you're not supposed to visibly *facepalm* around clients)

In articles and books, this sort of realization invariably leads into a description of what the therapist should have been doing all along. This suggests either that therapists can learn from experience or, alternatively, that we don't.

You: Erica, what on earth brought this on? As though I couldn't guess?
Me: *unmysterious and unrevealing*

Comments

[ayelle.livejournal.com]

As someone on the receiving end of therapy, it seems to me that if the client is able to say that they still like you because they can see that you try (ie care) that means you really haven't been entirely unhelpful. It helps just to know someone's listening, and cares.

[muchabstracted.livejournal.com]

Yeah, whenever the therapists write about that sort of experience, they're being a little disingenuous, because it's usually clear that they've been somewhat helpful. They've just learned something new. I think it's a positive experience for the client because the power dynamics in the therapist-client relationships are temporarily shifted to be slightly more in the client's favor.

It helps just to know someone's listening, and cares.

*nods* This makes sense. Also, it sounds the argument for why you can have interns and beginning social workers doing therapy at all. Because, self-deprecation aside, it really does take some experience before a therapist has a set of strategies to use to help clients.

[ayelle.livejournal.com]

Heh (in response to your comment above) you sounded more wry to me than worried in this post!

Yeah, my first therapist was an internist. She was good, sure, she'll be a great therapist some day -- and most importantly she figured out that I needed more help than she was giving me and got me in to see the psychiatrist. Nevertheless, she was still just young and inexperienced, and after she left during the summer and I started seeing Meryl, with all her years (decades?) of experience, I suddenly realized what the difference was.

[muchabstracted.livejournal.com]

Oh good! I'm glad I didn't entirely mislead everyone.

I totally feel validated now (about the experience thing).

Also, it is reassuring, in an odd sort of way, that there is a difference between an inexperienced therapist and an experienced one.